Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
