He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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