Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Someone shit on the floor
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
