just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
