so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
