Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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