it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
