So drunk its hurt
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
