you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
