k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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