Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
