i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
