im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
