Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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