Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
