He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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