Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
