I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
