Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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