im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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