your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
