Farmville is her only friend.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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