It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
