Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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