You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
