she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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