She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
