A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I am one with the molecules
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
