Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
