btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
