So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
