i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
