OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize