You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
