his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
