She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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