SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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