he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
