i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
