"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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