break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
