I wanna passion pit in your ass
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
