Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
