she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
