We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
