we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
