And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
