So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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