hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
