This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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