I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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